I talked to myself…

 

At times it is very important for us to fix an appointment with ourselves. It is that time of introspection when you realize and learn what all things you’ve learnt from life. It is that golden moment when you understand that each day has been a learning day. Every day you learn something new that is worth a thought. It improves your personality manifold and it also gives an insight to your inner soul.

I’ve spoken to myself several times recently and have felt that life is a ‘Boxing Game’. It punches you hard, makes you cry, gives stress to you and at times disappoints you as well. It is then when you must understand that you are not declared defeated when you fall down; rather you are considered defeated when you refuse to get up. However hard the blows of circumstances be, make sure that you gather all your courage to get up and speak for yourself. That is your win!

In such situations, when you evaluate, you’ll realize that it were the wrong people, the ones whom you disliked for their behavior, attitude and perception taught you right lessons. You gained priceless experience of life in such scenarios. But you should have the attitude to make the other person appreciate the fact that your back is not a kind of voice mail. If they have the courage, they should be upfront in coming to you and expressing their thoughts in front of you. It is then when the relationships can be maintained transparent.

I also strongly feel that happiness and success go hand-in-hand only in two situations. First when we manage everything when we have nothing and secondly, the way we behave when we have everything. At times success in terms of money and status makes people swollen headed. The reason is still to be established. People forget their journey when they started with merely the blessings of elders. Status makes them forget even the silent sacrifices made by their near and dear ones. Money puts a blindfold on their eyes but on the death pyre nobody has been fortunate enough to take it along; neither to the heaven nor to the hell. That is the most ironical situation of life when nothing goes with the departed soul; only the memories are left behind. The memories are always special. Sometimes, we laugh by remembering the days we cried and sometimes, we cry by remembering the days we laughed.

So, in a nutshell it is nicest to be in someone’s thoughts and safest to be in someone’s prayers. It is then when you have commanded the respect and deserved the best. If a person cannot be at the nicest and the safest place at some point of time in his life, he probably did not understand how to live life. He always remained strangulated in the materialistic world amidst pounds of wealth and meaningless relationships. It is with these thoughts that I realize that there is still more to observe and more to learn from the follies that people around you do. It is time for you to take a break and talk to yourself about the lessons you learn from life.

Until next, keep talking to yourself to learn…

 

Painful journey beginning from gifts to unsolicited credits

Gifts are probably the physical embodiment of love, care and affection. It has emotions attached to them. For some it is also a mark of respect and for others it is a token of love with a message ‘we do care’. In this materialistic world, often these gifts are looked for encashment in terms of their MRP and the brand and if you are fortunate enough to be associated with swarm of people as your family members, you are also destined to be unfortunate to be a ball of comparison.

Though with the end of barter system, goods are being purchased for exchange of money but these goods itself get laced with innumerous emotions for the recipient. Accepting this love-laced gift is also an art which is seldom gifted to people. The person needs to have a distinguished poise to receive it at the other end with equal love and affection. This art cannot be taught. One has to master it and to master one has to feel it and experience the emotions associated with it.

For a tiny tot, a mother’s kiss and a tight hug is the biggest gift; at the same time it is the ultimate feeling for a mother to experience her child in her arms. For a girlfriend the engagement ring is the biggest gift of acknowledgement of the love she showered in the courtship days while for the boyfriend the engagement ring symbolizes the girl’s assurance ‘I’ll always be with you’. For a father, the first job of his child is a gift, for a child a pat on the back by parents is the greatest recognition gift. Now for all these instances, if a token of love is embodied in a small wrapped up object; it becomes priceless.

These wrapped up objects also when exchanged on festivals, occasions, moments of celebration act as remembrance of the person who gave it. God also did not guarantee you the days you’ll survive, He also did not assure you of the fact that people will recognize your efforts, sacrifices, commitments and so He just said that in this materialistic world, you’ll live in an object for those who cannot keep you in their heart. The objects if lay in front of their eyes might bring back the nostalgia of the time spent with you.

You are a part a scenario where nothing but the money counts, you are in a system where emotions have taken a back seat, you are dwelling into a world where you are even being compared for what you gave to the people on various occasions and you soon will be just be out of place and of course out of hearts of many whom you tried to keep in your heart for long; so just chill!!

Welcome to the cold-blooded materialistic world where no one is yours except your parents, siblings, better-half and your offsprings. Friends are the pillars of support. Always be prepared to be recognized and acknowledged for the things you missed. That is the credit you get for doing countless other goodwill gestures, commendable efforts, unsaid and unrecognized sacrifices and at times unplanned budgetary expenditures. All the very best!!

Unsolicited disturbing guests

Life is a beautiful term coined in the dictionary! Indeed it is beautiful for the wide range of species it engulfs, the broad spectrum of emotions it gives us to experience, nice people to associate with, loving human beings we relate to, affectionate living creatures whom we domesticate and take care of, wonderful learning outcomes as we progress, valuable teachings we impart and still a lot more which we cannot pen down but appreciate their fact of existence. Awesome is the word to describe it!!

But at times it does happen that we are not too happy with other creatures’ presence in our lives. The very thought of these creatures disturb us. We don’t even want to think of them and want them to stay away from us for the rest of their lives. How could they disturb us? How could they interfere with our daily routine? Why does it happen that we get perturbed by their presence? Why do they scare us? Why God gave them the liberty to do this?

The fact is that they have a heart beating in them!! But it is also a fact that they have a brain that is doing something really different and that something might not be acceptable to our brain. The result is a conflict. However hard we may try to convince ourselves for the fact that their brain has a limitation to think and act, still we cannot love them by all our heart.

Yesterday was a horrifying experience for me. I really got disturbed by the awful presence of these creatures in my home. I never invited them. The most saddening part was that they sat through the entire afternoon yesterday, troubled us through the evening, scared us through the night and are now actually disturbing me and my family since morning today. If at all my home was so inviting that they really felt ‘Home sweet home’, why on this earth did they think of raiding us in swarms??

I now want to shoo them away, though they are one of the God’s beautiful creations. They are the wasps. They sting. They don’t let us use our balconies. They don’t let us keep our doors open. They don’t let any of us breathe in the fresh air in our balconies. They are building their hive just next to our balcony…We are trying our level best to get rid of them. Their brain is just not signaling that we hate them. We are sick of them. Now how would God know that though they are just as important as we are to Him, still we cannot think of sharing our space!

This is where God needs to fine tune the brains and the hearts to understand that everyone has their own space and we need to respect that rather than barge in that without a thought. For now, God is making us criminals. In self-defense, we are somehow trying to get rid of these unwanted guests. May the human squad armed with innumerous bottles of Hit, equipped with uncountable coils of Mortein, loaded with nice fuming incense sticks get immediate respite from this buzzing raiding swarm…we are tainted with zzzzzzzzzzz phobia!

Parenting is an art

Nurturing a child's interest is one of the most important aspects of parenting. Many of us try to live our unfulfilled life through our children's lives, which is really shattering for the children. They have to bear the wrath of such desires and high ambitions. The most saddening aspect of this reliving comes alive when this turns out be a never ending vicious circle, the victimized children try to live their dreams through their children now. The thought itself is so confusing that the children are bound to be in shackles.

I being a parent myself have always believed that children have immense potential. It is for you to generate interest in them for various fields. It depends on you - how much capable you are to give them inputs or source inputs for them. Your duty is just to be with them for the support they need, guidance they desire and appreciation they crave for. A small token of appreciation in terms of a nice remark, a warm hug, a pat on the back and light kiss on the cheeks can do wonders for your tiny tot.

It is said "Preach what you Teach". As a doting parent you should set an example in front of your children for anything and everything that you are teaching. Many of us would be outright in setting the 'Do's and Don'ts' but how many of us follow it to roots? It is so easy for each one of us to ask a child not to watch TV after 10 PM, not to eat junk often, not to waste time with friends and acquaintances, and so on. But please ask yourself, how many of you have been successful in implementing the same in your lives too - no TV after 10 PM, no junk on the plate too often, no time-killing with friends and acquaintances? 

If you've been one of those who could achieve these targets for yourself, let me congratulate you for not considering your children as a burden or their priorities and schedules as hurdles. You've been there for their needs and demands and you are treading on the path of setting strong moral values in your children. When these children become critical of your upbringing, they will surely appreciate your decisions and moves in life.

Children are God's wonderful creations and they give you an aim in life. It feels so blessed to have them because these innocent minds have to be carved and crafted for excellence, they have to be moulded for perfection and they have to be prepared to face the adversities of life. Your training should give them confidence to be bold enough to face the world and take up the challenges.

Try to read their interests and minds, and then train them for professional expertise in life. You have to be a mentor and trainer for them. You have to be a disciplinarian but a close friend to them too. They should feel free to confide in you and walk to you to discuss their 'heart and mind'. They should enjoy your company and you should feel honored to be with them through the thick and thin and take them through all the initial phases of life.

Parenting should not be confined to four walls. It is actually training the future leaders who can beautify and uplift the mankind for a promising future. William Ross Wallace had been appreciating the role of mothers in this initiative by writing the poem "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the World". In no way, father's role is demeaning!

Fathers actually play a crucial role in making a child comfortable outside his comfort zone. A father's role is all the more important to prepare the child to face the attrocities of materialistic and self-centered world. He is the guiding light for every child to be brave and strong. He teaches the child to take a stand for everything in life.

Parenting on whole is a wonderful self-learning project, the outcome of which is overwhelming if both mother and father strive to groom the child for being an all rounder rather than an academician, a sportsperson, a musician or a craftsman. Profession would always be a secondary aspect as a parent, because that would be based on child's interest and his meritorious capabilities. These are not going to undermine any individual's efforts.

It is utmost important to teach the child a positive competition that leads to self improvement rather than inculcating a negative competitive spirit that always emphasizes on pulling down the opponent and considering him as a rival. And remember for this too, you will have to preach if you plan to teach! Happy positive parenting :)

Salute to all the great contributors

Though it is strange, but still when I look around, I wonder why people look at a married woman differently?

She might look better dressed, maybe wearing an ornament or two, that mark her married. She might be flashing off her new attire or may be living up to her dreams of putting on a heavy makeup that she could not do before marriage... But still she's a girl at heart! The very basic sindoor and bindi does not make her a woman!

She might be learning how to take care of her home, she might be struggling to take care of not just herself but two and more people, and she might not always like to hear 'what does your husband do'... 

The pious institution of marriage doesn't suddenly turn a girl into a woman. For that matter, having kids doesn't necessarily do the same either. The society needs to be considerate towards the fact that the girl has her own life and her own self defined progress chart. The society needs to celebrate who she really is; celebrate the child in her, she may be anyone around you. She could be your friend, your sister, your mother, or even a total stranger.

She's not supposed to be responsible for innumerous things, countless chores, it's just her desire for perfection that she does what she does.

This is for every wonderful woman you and I know. Let the girl grow up at her own pace; let her take her own sweet time and let the little girl in every woman live forever.

The chivalrous gender should cherish her, spoil her and most importantly let her be what she is. She wasn't born to take care of you, it's her heart that makes her do so....!! Respect her willingness to be for you but don't ever suppress her with undue pressure.

For each effort extended to let her live life her own way, you would be graced with innumerous moments of selfless love, care and affection.

This blog is dedicated to all the wonderful women I know who have lived their life according to their own way and it is also to salute all the wonderful men in their lives who have supported them through the thick and thin to accomplish their goals.

Hats off to all the affectionate fathers, caring brothers, loving husbands and wonderful sons!! The society needs such thoughtful contributors.

Sophisticated and disguised begging system

Greed and lust are two words that drive few humans crazy, making them probably the most insensitive God's creations. I feel God created them to make the others realize that these are the sample pieces whom we should never consider as our role models, these are the people - a little unfortunate though, who have all the things in life but they command no respect from others, who will never be praised behind their backs, who will never be welcomed as a guest of honour!

I know some acquaintances of mine whom I would not name but would say are the most money centric people on this earth. These people have all the comforts and luxuries of life but still their greed and lust to have more and more does not end. The most saddening part is that they now don't want to do hard work to possess the materialistic things but are looking for some petty pennies in the name of culture and traditions from people around them. Aeww!! what an awful thought this is even to pen it down but I write what I see, what I feel and what I want to convey! Can't help it.

How can they not value the relationships between the people, how can they not appreciate the positive things about the people around them and how could they expect the traditional givers (the girl's parents!!; how cheap this thought is :(, but have been seeing this and listening about this off late) to always keep refilling their wealth reservoirs??

I would like to question the originator and also the followers of this custom that where is all the self respect and dignity that they talk off? Where is the poise to stand tall admist this crap?? I'm sure a day would come when people who expect this nonsense would have everything in life but the true wealth of people and emotions would be far away from them. They would long for companionship in life, but would be surrounded by materialistic things in life.

They would probably want to share their joys and sorrows, but no one would pay heed to them because by then everyone would have realized that the age old era of smearing some vermillion and handing over petty cash in the name of respect would be gone forever and ever. The society would come to know about such culprits who don't know how to respect the girl's parents. The girls today are strong and they can take stand for their values and principles. The married girls of today have an opinion that if they can't be loyal to their parents in their early 25 years of existence, they can never be true to their in-laws as well!

I pray that such people should now dare not talk bad about the girl's parents because the days have changed, the society has moved ahead, and nothing other than the God himself is the driving force of our existence.

I would appeal to all the readers to set right all the people who share this crap thought. I feel that the youth of today should come forward and stop, rather eradicate this sophisticated begging system from the society. The trend setters might get a setback, they might be disowned by their loved ones, but who cares if the next generation reaps the benefits of clean relationships sans the typical 'giving and receiving business veiled as a mark of respect according to several regional cultures'.

People would know you by your work, your character and your nature long after you are gone. The wealth accumulated by sophisticated begging would only get you bad name in the society, it would show how weak you were not to earn respect by your deeds. You rather begged for it in a sophistication and were given, due to undue pressure by the circumstances you created. May God unveil all such people and bring to light what they have done in the past, how they have treated their own family members and how sarcastically they are talked about in the society. With this revelation, may the people who are the sufferers be benefitted.

So, the youth of today has to come forward and take initiatives to curb this practice and everyone should pledge to start from their own families and the social circle they live in. With India now becoming Polio free, may India become free from the evils of disguised dowry also. May the culture and tradition of extending the parents responsibility to all the new additions in the family should stop. People should realize that they have a girl from the other family as their daughter-in-law but not her parents have been married off in their family. The daughter-in-law might think of following you but her parents should not be obliged to do so and yes the idea of extending the concept of daughter according to your own sweet will for your own financial gains should definitely be condemned.

COME ON INDIA, LET'S START THIS DRIVE AND GET THE PEOPLE RESPECT GIRL'S PARENTS. After all this is Mother India who needs strong women who can cut across the boundaries and thoughts of weak, selfish and money centric women who look for only 'shagun' envelopes and treat the piece of paper as a trophy of respect.

Paradise on Earth!

It has been quite long since I blogged last. Thanks to the winter vacations that kept me on my toes and an overwhelming pressure in the office that did not give me even a second to think about the miscellaneous things in life! But I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed my last month.

The celebrations and the fun time started off with a very good Christmas party where we, the entire Saxena family and the Verma family gathered together for a lavish lunch followed by exciting rounds of Tambola. Everyone enjoyed a lot, right from the youngest member of the family to the eldest one. We all were gale and hearty to witness the fun and frolic in the air.

All of us decided to carry on this amazing concept of getting together and not loading a single family with all the tasks of arranging for a party. On the 31st, we again decided to have a pot dinner of the Saxenas and the Vermas! Needless to say, Priyanka Saxena and Niharika Saxena were the star performers. Yes, for a family where food is the prime focus and taste buds are always on the look out for the delicacies, these two did an awesome job by making nutritious Raj Kachoris at home. Kudos to their skills. We all were so thrilled by the very sight of the item that we all started to treat our appetites by the Kachoris' appearance and delectable taste. That day also, we had amazing rounds of Tambola where each of us enjoyed a lot. That was followed by Dumb Charades which was equally exciting and acted as a food for laughter.

This get together was followed by a 4 day long stay of my husband's maternal aunts. I must say their trip was really an added treat to all of us and a great change from the monotonous mundane routine. All of us had a great time chit chatting about anything and everything and also we got time to gel well with the elders of the family.

Then yet another get together was the birthday party of Arsh Saxena :) on 11th January. He had come all the way from Bhopal to celebrate his birthday with all of us and this gave us another chance to be together and enjoy each other's company. We had long sessions of gupshups and were all merry with obviously delicious finger licking food. We all appreciated the love of junior Saxenas for each other. Distance does keep them apart but their instincts cannot. Arsh and Medhansh were all for each other. They hugged and kissed each other. They played together and really enjoyed each other's presence. Their innocence and their love was a message for us that we should not look for faults in everyone; rather should appreciate each other as God's wonderful creation!

And the gala time would be remembered by the nostalgic moments spent on Ankur Saxena's birthday on 13th January. Though the group was not complete, still we did not leave a chance to celebrate and laugh till we were completely exhausted.

I really look forward for such fun time amidst the daily hectic routine through the year and for many more years that follow. The sense of togetherness, the feeling of celebration, the joy of each other's presence and the satisfaction of giving our kids a rich cultural heritage miles away from the crappy gossiping world adds value to our heavenly existence in the paradise on earth - yes this is the wonderful paradise nurtured by our beloved grandmother Mrs. Sarla Saxena.

Through the long years of hardships, uncountable sacrifices, immense love and affection she has brought up a family that has strong roots to be together and enjoy life as it comes. Her message to all of us is "Don't ever waste the precious moments cribbing for something that you have not got, rather appreciate each moment as God's wonderful gift to you." Hope we take this value to our next generations too and may she bless us with all her love and affection. Amen!

 

Salute to all the wonderful teachers!

Nothing can be as ecstatic as seeing your budding star on the stage. It is a euphoric feeling to see him master the skills that you could not do. I was just mesmerized by the stunning performance of my son this month in the Annual Day.

He danced to the traditional tunes of a very famous Bengali song depicting immersion of Goddess Durga after nine day long festivities. The stage was shared by his classmates too who did an equally exceptional job by performing to the best of their capabilities.

That was the time when I really felt how much effort the teacher had to put to synchronize everyone’s steps, how much coordination was required amongst the peers to match with the rhythm and how receptive were the tiny tots while performing on the stage.

This really reminds me to applause the teachers’ role in our lives. They act as skilled artisans who craft the skill set of each individual, realize the hidden potential in each one of them and then groom them to demonstrate nothing but the best. The day reminded me of my childhood too.

It brought back the nostalgic memories of all those annual days in which I participated. I think we owe our teachers immense respect and should value their contribution in crafting our skills, till we breathe our last!

Do it even when afraid

Facing our fears is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it is faced.

Some people live in their own sweet world of phobias. They are just not ready to come out of it. I wonder why? They have their small world of pre-conceived thoughts where they feel if they try to modify something, the world is going to fall flat on them. They have inhibitions to bring about a change or think of improvements in their life. At times I feel like just pulling out all these people from their safe-zone shells and show them that the world is all about improvements, modifications, betterment and above all self-satisfaction.

You cannot achieve glory overnight but at the same time you cannot tread the glorious path till the time you actively think about what change you want to see. There is no success guarantee formula that any one can give but the assurance that your soul would definitely appreciate your move is always there.

Many of you will also have to make some sacrifices in choosing the righteous path, many of you would also have to welcome various pressures and many would also be pulled into the social stigma of being the undesirably rebellious entity but, your first step is the step of strong unwavering determination to accomplish what you've always wanted.

The next step is to be associated with your dream religiously. Then comes the stage when you have to make sure that nothing can alter your decision and your willingness to bring about the change you want to see. You've to overcome your phobias. You have to be absolutely sure to focus on your goal.

It is then when you'll achieve your goals, you'll accomplish your dreams and see the change in yourself. You'll emerge as a strong personality who knows how to tread the righteous path of success which has many hardships and obstacles to overcome but the destination of achievement is blissful.
 

The world is mine!

I just saw this poem on the net while surfing and I found this so touching and interesting that I could not stop myself from sharing.

The title is “The World is Mine” by “Richa Anirudh”. With due credit to her imagination, I must say that she has penned this down so beautifully that even an always complaining individual would stop by and give it a thought. We become so engrossed in our daily lives and so habitual of complaining about the things, nagging about what has not been done that we forget how fortunate we are and how blessed we are for having this wonderful gift of life! Here’s the poem for all of you:

Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman,

 And wished I were as beautiful.

 When suddenly she rose to leave,

 I saw her hobble down the aisle.

 She had one leg and wore a crutch.

 But as she passed, she passed a smile.

 Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

 I have two legs; the world is mine.

 

 I stopped to buy some candy,

 The lad who sold it had such charm,

 I talked with him, he seemed so glad,

 If I were late, it'd do no harm.

 And as I left, he said to me,

 "I thank you, you've been so kind.

 It's nice to talk with folks like you.

 You see," he said, "I'm blind."

 Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.

 I have two eyes; the world is mine.

 

 Later while walking down the street,

 I saw a child I knew.

 He stood and watched the others play,

 but he did not know what to do.

 I stopped a moment and then I said,

 "Why don't you join them dear?"

 He looked ahead without a word,

 I forgot, he couldn't hear.

 Oh, God, forgive me when I whine,

 I have two ears; the world is mine.

 

 With feet to take me where I'd go,

 With eyes to see the sunset's glow,

 With ears to hear what I'd know.

 With loving family & friends to enjoy life

 Oh, God, forgive me when I whine,

 I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.

 

 After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!

 Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty J

 

Who did better?

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby, comedian

I’m sure most of you would end up reading this saying may be a couple of times first before you proceed ahead with this blog. For many, the truth and the fact lies in this single sentence as you must be toiling really hard to please everyone day in and day out. But of all those with whom you are associated with, there would definitely be atleast one person who would not be happy with your behavior, your attitude, your style, or may be anything that is so related to you or your action. Did you ever question yourself whose fault it is?

Without even giving it a second thought, undoubtedly it is your fault for not having thought about yourself. It is your fault for having considered yourself as the genius master of all the tasks. It is your fault for having expected appreciation from people around you. And above all, it is your fault for having neglected yourself for all this period to satisfy others’ needs, expectations and aspirations.

The end result for most of you would have been that you would have been made the victim of an erroneous or rather an unsatisfactory task at the expense of neglecting yourself. What did you achieve? Apart from the innumerous suggestions on this would have been better this way or that way, you all have really ended up wasting quite a substantial amount of time that would have been worthwhile if you would have spent it on yourself. Even if that meant doing nothing and taking rest for some time, it would have added to your energy levels and would have definitely helped you to overcome your sleep deficit quota.

I feel everyone should accept the fact that each individual has a specific skill set, set energy levels and hence working temperament as well. No two individuals can match each other for these factors and hence we should respect everyone’s individuality for this. Again, as I’ve said in my previous blogs stop comparing and stop expecting…this is the only way to live a happy life. This attitude towards life gives you an opportunity to appreciate each individual’s skill set in a much more effective way and lets you honor his/her credentials without demeaning the counterparts.

“Who is better than whom?” is an endless vicious circle that gives rise to “Who did better than whom?” leading to diminishing effects on the individual and his actions too. Hence, don’t ever make a folly to attempt to please everyone. This is an unachievable target and would yield zero output. Rather set your priorities and make your skill set evident to the world so that you can tread on the path of excellence in your field of expertise.

Road to success

It's not inspiring books or presentations that change people's lives; they simply act as a catalyst. It is what you choose to believe and act upon, that's where the change comes. No one can change the life of any individual except that individual.

Going by this belief, I believe that we have immense potential and strength to accomplish great things in life. At times we just forget to prioritize life. I feel time once we set goals for ourselves the path becomes easy because then we know where we have to head. In case, life decides to challenge our decisions or our acts, we still know we don't have to deviate.

You just have to follow your instincts and be bold enough to tread the path of success which as always is a little tough and often not taken by people who think too much about the consequences. The consequences of taking the right path; apparently the difficult path too, is the fear of getting rejection, phobia of un-acceptance and the terror of difference of opinion with the acquaintances.

But to live life to its fullest, one must not forget that you have to accomplish everything in this very term itself. There would be no second chance given to you. Also, every individual is known for the good things he/she has done for the society. The crap always stays there because without that the importance of the good deeds will not be realized and it won't be acknowledged for. At this time, the words of Swami Vivekananda should be heard for. How rightly he said, "Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is achieved."

So, dear readers think about all the positive things in life. Motivate yourself to take the righteous path and shed off your apprehensions of others' viewpoints. Life is yours, so the decisions have to be yours. Till the time you know that you are in the right direction, success would also budge towards you! 

Empowering women

Empowering the women has been my motto and aim in life. Whenever I see women in distress I really get upset. Probably, because I've always imagined women as a source of strength and courage. In Hindu mythology, Goddess Durga is seen as a source of strength, divine power, courage, strong determination and will power.

With this picture in mind, it is just unbelievable to see any woman in distress. Many a times, we see women acting as the enemy of other women. This gives an opportunity to the men to ill treat women because they do have backing of other powerful ladies for their wrong deeds.

I feel women should equip themselves with education. It is solely the education that gives them strength to face the world with all their strength. At times, many people confuse education with literacy. How literate you are is not that important; but being educated definitely adds to your strengths. Education gives you the edge to differentiate between good and bad, useful and useless, meaningful and meaningless, and so on.

This just does not happen by sending the girl child to the school. It happens when it is told to the girl child what to accept and what not to. It also makes more sense by giving valid reasons for doing something. Reasoning helps to make a difference between the right way and the wrong way. This also refrains each woman from becoming a foe to another woman.

A woman can feel connected to another woman only when both are compassionate about each other's situation. Respect and honor for the other individual has to be inculcated as an individual grows. This happens when the moral values are instilled and inculcated. Someone has rightly said, "Practice what you teach and preach." It is with this attitude that a small child witnesses the beauty of characteristic features of each individual and this is how everyone would start appreciating the individualism of every human being on this earth.

Beauty with brains is the need of the hour. Women should not ever succumb to the pressure and should be bold enough to take stand for what they think is right. Why to let anyone make you a pawn for their benefit? Don't let others use you; Almighty has something planned for you, don't let the external pressure deviate you from your righteous path and always trust the notion that if you cannot change anything just ignore and move on but don't ever succumb to pressures in life. 

How to live life?

It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time. Samuel Johnson

I read it on one of the social networking sites. I pondered on it a lot. Then, I realized how true it is as ever. I too feel that it is the value that a man brings to the society which is of utmost importance. No one can deny the fact that as social animals we have some moral responsibilities towards different entities, family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and above all society. Society is the super set of all other categories. It is constituted of people like you and me.

So why not build a society that provides a platform for our next generation to respect and honor everyone in their lives. The onus of upliftment lies on all of us who expect something better to be given to the next generation. We need to strive hard to give quality education to them, we need to imbibe in them a culture that mutually benefits all the people around and above all we need to teach them that it is the supreme Almighty who has given us a chance to be on this earth! After all, according to our ancient vedas also, the Gods were here on the earth to accomplish great tasks!

For the Gods also, the path to success was rough, it was tough, the hurdles were many, the supporters were meager but the pleasure of success, the joy of victory, the feeling of triumph and the elation of the accomplishment was beyond an explanation! And it is their accomplishments which are given as a reference to us.

I also feel that getting associated to some under privileged people lets us realize the need of everything. It is then we know how blessed we are and why we should contribute to the society. This also makes you appreciate all the positives in life and there is a special bond that you develop with those people. Probably, there is a secret pledge in your heart to serve them with all the means to the best of your capabilities. 

So, give this a thought! It needs few materialistic inputs in terms of resources but a lot of value education that needs to be penetrated in the young minds to encourage them to take the lead in their lives. It is this act that would truly matter while judging how the person lived his life!

Move ahead with time

People often live with pre-conceived thoughts about a concept, about a person, about a situation. I often wonder how many of such people ever question about why a particular notion is there in their mind. It is seldom a challenge for these people to accept people and the situations with open-mindedness. This also becomes a bottleneck situation for their evolution and development.

No wonder, people who cross their middle-age are not receptive to new thoughts and ideas. It is also a contriving situation for all those who have to bear the consequences of this rote thinking. Rote thinking like rote learning is based and fixed on a particular flow line. There is no deviation or change acceptance.

I remember, how CBSE had to actually struggle to get acceptance for new Continuous and Comprehensive Evaluation (CCE) system. Many senior teachers and professors had actually thrown tantrums to implement this new concept in teaching. But in reality it had brought a breakthrough cutting edge change in the teaching and the evaluation pattern.

After a significant research I feel it has changed the complete scenario of the Indian education system. The teachers are now concerned about the overall development of the children and hence they are regularly evaluating the children through Formative and Summative Assessments (FAs and SAs).

Same is the fundamental driving principle of life. Over a period of time, the traditional ways and means become obsolete. They have to evolve with the changing times and it has to accommodate the current generations capabilities and expectations. We really cannot live with the obsolete technology and hence the obsolete thought process is also a strict no-no. So, let's pledge to be receptive to the changes and adapt to the new upcoming evolutions. After all, these things are bound to make our children happy and they would really be pleased if we do not take them back by 100 years in the time machine!!

Secret anniversaries

How many of you feel blessed to have celebrated anniversaries of heart? I enjoy celebrating each anniversary of heart!! These anniversaries are really different from the usual anniversaries or birthdays you celebrate. Those are the days when the celebration is made very public, those are the days when everyone around you are a part of the celebration, but these silent anniversaries are something which the two of you celebrate.

Life gives us innumerous opportunities to rejoice and relive each cherished moment. It gives us the option to be happy and thank God for blessing us with wonderful people around. Being a social animal, we cannot live in isolation. We need someone to share our joys, someone to offload our tensions and frustrations, someone to celebrate our success with. It is so pleasing to share the secret anniversaries of heart.

Some people might call you crazy for remembering those silly dates but this all tells about your passion for the person with whom you share the date! It is by default that the date gets registered in your mind and stays there for years to come. It is because you feel something nostalgic about the day, about the time spent and about the memories being made. It is one of those pleasurable days when your presence on this earth was acknowledged for and you felt on the seventh heaven!

At times these are the special days when you wanted something to happen, you were looking for something to be eventful and that was something you wished for, you prayed for and by the Almighty's blessings, it finally happened.

You should feel thankful to the God for giving you an opportunity to feel blessed on few special days. These are infact the days when you felt your world is just the other person. Also, this day gives you an opportunity to give credit to the other person for being thoughtful about you. May such anniversaries bring in immense joy and happiness for all of you!

 

Parenthood

I'm back on my writing spree. There are lot of things going on in my mind, but I'm really not sure where to start with it today.

Aaaahhhhh... now that I'm connected to you, I think I'll pick up a topic that is very close to my heart. This is something that I've always wanted to do. This is my real life project, I want to code it, I want to test it, I want to execute it, and then finally implement it. I don't want to shun away from upgrading it nor do I want to get back from providing a life-time support.

To many of you, it might appear as if I'm going to beat Bill Gates, the software giant with some new self created product with an exceptionally bug free code. Well let it be!! For me it is nothing less than that.

Probably this is the something which I'm very passionate about. I'm talking about the project of parenting!! I'm very passionate about this. I simply love doing this. I think, my child completes my status of womanhood. Motherhood is a blissful state that reminds you of your childhood. It also makes you a little judgmental about various things, probably because you believe in experiential learning by then. You know what were the shortcomings in your parents' style, you have witnessed what probably could be the shortcomings in your in-laws parenting style for your husband, and also you have seen considerable number of parenting cases; reasons are im-materialistic at this stage. With these inputs, you gear up to prepare a product with the ideal features, characteristics and you set the rules and protocols to follow.

Scientifically, you are at a stronger position because you would not commit the errors that others did. But what if you get the lesson for repeating the same thing which you know is erroneous??? Without a doubt you need to retaliate. Without a second thought you need to refuse to commit the blunder. It is your baby and by nature's law you would never want anything bad to happen to him. You would always want the best for him. It is for this reason that you need to make your stand clear for all the decisions that you take. You also need to tell the reason behind that. This reasoning probably helps in some odd cases to reiterate what you want to convey or what you want to do.

After all, this stage gives you an opportunity to perform like the others have done, to the best of their capabilities. How could you miss this opportunity? Always make sure, you have well defined ideologies for your child's upbringing. The goals should be clear. You should not over-expect from your child. Nor should you over-burden him. Make sure he is not a spoilt brat and don't give in to all his demands. Never compare and never let him compete for the status. He should not be projected as a product for enhanced status quo nor should you let anyone make him a part of baseless expectations.

He is a God's creation, honor his individuality. Don't hamper his growth by imposing your dreams nor try to fulfill your unaccomplished ambitions through him. Let him grow in an open environment. Discuss things with him, so what if he is younger than you - he would always be; respect his thought process. It is only then he can contribute to the welfare of the society, it is only then he can think about the development and up-gradation of the family, it is only then he can be a responsible family member and hence a valuable citizen of the country. On him the onus lies for traditional evolution!

Last but not the least, the most important fact: fatherhood complements motherhood. Never take single ownership for the child's upbringing. It is a fact that all good things happen in collaboration and this is also a fact that however extensive efforts you as a mother are investing, it would be completely impossible without the father's contribution in terms of giving you the authority to take decisions for your child. The father probably makes the unsaid and unnoticed; but probably the most important contributions to the child's overall growth. Fatherhood too is an equally important and extensive project. The child should not underestimate anyone's efforts!!

 

Traditional pandora's box

As I tore open the metropolitan wrapping sheets package with great excitement I'm surprised to witness some baseless customs and traditions. I would rather take each gift as it pops up from my magical juke box that I got as a gift.

A notion that I got to know was ridiculous. There are many parties and clauses to pay respect. There are few set rules that are prevalent in most of the north-Indian families. I'm now a north-Indian but I cannot accept all the crap given to me at any point of time. There were many such verdicts for which I've never got satisfactory explanations; but I can give innumerous logics for not following it blindly.

Here is some food for thought:

• Girls do not touch her parent's feet: I'm a Maharashtrian by birth and I'm proud to be. I've imbibed the culture to its roots. For me, any one who is elder to me even by a single hour commends respect. There is no one in this entire universe whom I can treat at par with my parents. So how can I not touch the feet of my parents for their blessings. I exist because of them and I'm successful because of them. They are the BEST! I shun this ritual of not touching their feet. If there are innumerous people in a gathering, I would start with them to honor them. I follow this with all my strength and zeal. I got this from Lord Ganesha. Parents are the supreme, they are everything.
• Daughter-in-laws need to touch the younger sister-in-law's feet: Another pop up from the Pandora's box!! I see no logic in it. By imposing this, people are rather stripping off the love, care and affection we might have towards them. I would like to question, will this mere physical act inculcate the respect in someone's heart? I feel even if there was a miniscule particle of respect in the heart that would also eventually diminish by this silly act. I don't follow this.
• Nobody should touch maternal uncle's feet: For me an elder is an elder irrespective of the relation. I need to seek blessings from each and every elder in the family. After all, maternal uncles and their families (apparently our parents' side) do play a major contribution in the upbringing. Then according to the north-Indian culture, the maternal uncles do have to incur heavy expenditure for rituals like bhaat before the marriage. This is the ceremony where the maternal uncles have to buy clothes and expensive gifts for the entire family. What a forced wealth drain...and then a punch line to refer Kans (Lord Krishna's maternal uncle) and Shakuni (evil maternal uncle of Kauravas in Mahabharata) as the creed of maternal uncles where they do not call for any respect but yes they are still eligible to contribute to the child's gift basket during marriage! What an irony?  
• Son-in-law is a highly distinguished member of the family: Why, why and just why? I just can't stop questioning? What exceptional things do the north-Indian son-in-laws do that son-in-laws of other communities do not do? Logically, all have that same extra 7-inch flesh that gives the girls a privilege to be the mothers!! All have the moral obligation to bear the expenditure for a decent livelihood of the girl for the rest of her life after marriage. All do love the girl with all their heart if they truly feel blessed in the relationship. Then why do the girls' side have to worship the son-in-laws in an unrealistic way and give undue leverage and honor to be a part of their family? Are we not over-emphasizing their presence and acknowledging their duties as some unexpected favors? Why?
• Younger brother-in-laws need not be called by their names: The stupid logic that I got for this was: "If you can call a rickshaw puller, a shop-keeper, a pantry boy, an office boy, any male stranger as bhaiya then why not a younger brother-in law?". Can any one of you buy this logic? I will not feel ashamed to call everyone a stupid and an idiot who sees logic in this. For me my younger brother-in-laws are not the strangers, I know them from the bottom of my heart, I relate to them for every naughty prank they play on me, I enjoy teasing them and above all I see no difference in their relation with me as compared to my own younger brothers/cousins. Then why do I move away from them by creating this societal barrier. Even if I call them by their names, I love them, I care for them, and I do respect their presence in my life. They are important to me as they keep the child in me alive! They contribute to my happiness.

All these notions to me are presumably the most weirdest thoughts that any one can give. Why to follow them blindly? There is no point in saying that we are doing this because our parents did this and we follow them blindly.

I ask all the readers, if you are being questioned by your children in future, would you be able to give a sensible logic to this? These are probably the questions that come to my mind. With the traditional evolution, I'm sure our children would move a step ahead of us and ask more intricate questions which you'll have to answer with all the logic and facts. Be prepared as that would be the change over phase for you too for they might ask you a very straight forward question - "What you've been doing all these years with your near and dear culture and tradition?".

I'm gearing up with all my strength to face this! Are you ready too??
 

Traditional evolution

To many of you this title might seem at random. Many of you might think what vague thoughts I'm penning down! But this is something that I've been experiencing for quite some time now.

Here is the plot of the basis. It so happened that I got married in a different culture and in an altogether different family set up by sheer virtue of loving the best competent person in this world. With great pride I can say he was, he is and he will be the best soul mate I could have ever found. He is a perfect embodiment of love, care, affection, honesty, and probably all the good adjectives that constitute the huge 4.5-billion-word corpus of any internationally recognized word plethora; a dictionary! With him I got lovely people to share my joys and offload my sorrows; but the package was a bigger one as there was a bundle of age old thoughts bundled in metropolitan wrapping sheet!

As is said, you cannot change everyone to suit your requirements; the universal law was applicable to me too. I cannot change or modulate the thought process of everyone around me. They exist in perfect accordance with their upbringing, education, moral values and traditions. But the diminishing relationships due to un-evolved thoughts and traditions is something that bothers me, especially now when I'm a part of this family and this has to go to my son as a heritage.

A day came in my life when I decided that I cannot pass on this legacy with flaws to my next generation. It is my moral duty to fine tune it before I hand over the cultural heritage to him. It is then when I thought of changing the society and to do that the change has to begin with my family. I love the fact that we all are together in times of need, we share our joys, we stand by each other in times of sorrow, and we value each other's presence in our life but there are days when this coin tosses the other way round. The tail-end has a gloomy picture. Saddening is the fact, that at those times we forget our past, we forget the company we rejoiced, we underestimate the efforts being put in by our near and dear ones.

The root cause of this is the belief that one comprising entity could not follow the age old tradition. The dictionary meaning of tradition is "a custom or belief that has existed for a long time". But have you ever thought, from where did these originate? I'll be straight forward in writing that these originated when people like you and me thought of following something because we liked it.

Now with the evolution of homo sapiens, the signals radiated from the brain wire also need to be modulated well with the aesthetic changes happening to the modern society because of the presence of rapidly evolved entities like you and me!!

The traditional evolution should accommodate the life style changes, the competitive edge we need to give to the youngsters, the rising inflation that is putting rupee in a real bad position and the rising fair enough demands projected by the next generation which are actually needed to help them evolve with the changing time.

We cannot neglect these facts and I would be really glad to share my experiences and hence the learning in days to come through this wonderful platform of uninterrupted expression. I strongly believe in experiential learning!

Appreciation

How many of you have ever felt the joy of appreciating someone? You might think there is a typographical error in the previous sentence and it should read as "How many of you have ever felt the joy of appreciation?".

But let me confirm, I meant what I had written in the first go itself. For those who have actually appreciated someone might have felt the bliss in doing so. It is such a wonderful feeling! You can actually see the recipient of the compliment jump in joy. It seems as if the person was just dying to hear that from you and you mean the world to that person.

It also lets you grow personally because when you appreciate someone, you are actually recognizing the fact that the other person has that skill set which is of real worth. A time would come when you also would like to imbibe those qualities in yourself and that would help in enhancing your personality manifold.

Appreciation is a tool that helps one to give credit to the other person and allows to acknowledge the fact that for something that you could not put your efforts, the other one has done a considerably commendable job.

In personal and professional life, appreciation would act as a tonic and as an effective management tool that could break the monotony of persistent sluggish feeling of contributor who toils hard, burns the midnight oil, makes endless sacrifices; just to see someone rather the most important person in life happy and accomplish goals that have been set as success parameters.

So, it's a mass appeal, please appreciate and acknowledge the efforts of people around you. The world would definitely be a better place and people would emit that long awaited positive aura!